Our Town
By Richard Allin
Do Earrings lead to kilts?
A friend who was lunching with me watched.
“You know,” he said, “I used to be able to whip almost anybody wearing an earring. But I don’t believe I could whip that guy.”
I nodded. It would have been a tough fight.
I pondered on the matter later on. How did earrings get restarted as acceptable jewelry for the male? Especially when it requires the pain of having a body part pierced to accommodate the decoration? Men have worn earrings in the past. Just look at old pictures. The ears of kings and dandies through the ages display all sorts of bobs and pendants. A well-known portrait of William Shakespeare shows the bard wearing a small gold earring. It looked much like the one on the fellow wearing the tractor cap.
Male fashions change. The earring shows that men are willing to revive fashions of the past. The gold male neck chain can be seen sparkling above many a hairy chest. And it seems to have reached its zenith. A few of us traditional fogies have held out, declining to snap a chain around our necks. But neck chains no longer draw comments unless oversized gold medallions happen to be suspended from them. We can only ask, whats next?
I’ve always suspected that kilts will become fashionable as menswear, along with the sporran for holding a driver’s license, Social Security card, and small change. Kilts should be easy for haberdashers to sell after they get their start. They have merely to revive the memory of the fierce Ladies from Hell, as the heroic Scottish warriors have been known down through military campaigns. Perhaps each state cha have its own tartan. Pictire War Memorial Stadium on a Razorback day with each loyal fan clad in red kilts. The vision staggers the imagination.
Kilts would have a certain charm for those of Scottish and Irish descent. And it takes just one brave soul to start the practice. Others will follow.
I suspect that there are many a kilt in a closet in Arkansas, to be tried on in the evenings in secret. The owners swagger thus and so, making the kilt swing this way and that in heroic fashion.
Members of Scottish groups, college bands and clubs, and some Canadians already wear kilts. And once they are established as ordinary male dress, tartan patterns can be exchanged for tweed. Cotton kilts would be perfect for lounging around home on weekends, and denim kilts would ease binding caused by the turning and bending necessary in gardening.
The roman toga, too, has a certain appeal for summer time. Togas were traditionally woven of wool, but Southerners could cut them from cotton and decorate the edges with symbolic designs. The toga would be much more practical and comfortable than the three-piece suit. And as I understand Roman dress, the toga could be swept off to reveal an airy and comfortable short sleeve tunic under it. Such would make so much sense at our latitude. The principal difficulty of the toga is its lack of pockets. It would be difficult to exchange a suit containing up to 16 pockets for a garment that has none.
But imagination and flair will fill the need. Perhaps the scabbard that held the broadsword of the Roman citizen could be redesigned to hold credit cards and Kleenex.
Times are changing. And it’s just a matter of time.